The Virtue of a Quiet Being

It feels like spring today.As I was driving down a steep hill in my neighborhood heading west, I had a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean this late winter afternoon. The ocean is deep, marine blue in the distance, outlined at the shore with a wide layer of aquamarine.  Clear and fresh blue sky. It reminds me of a balmy Caribbean afternoon- warm, tropical day with an easy, gentle breeze. The ocean makes me think of my son who is crewing on 42 foot sail boat somewhere in the Caribbean the past several weeks. 

The sky and ocean were this blue today.

 I received a book as a gift during the holidays that has occupied my thoughts lately. Sometimes gifts re-appear at the right moment. I "misplaced" it for a few weeks and later "found" it on my son's nightstand. This friend knows me particularly well. It's entitled, Quiet, The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I was immediately taken by the title which seemed like it might be for me.  Watch Cain's TED Talk,www.thepowerofintroverts.com, for a good introduction. 

One third to one half of people are introverts. Cain, herself an introvert,  worked to fit in to an extrovert's world. She candidly explores why it's all about inclusion, not exclusion. She sheds light, merit and appreciation to quiet revolutionaries like Rosa Parks, Gandhi,and Eleanor Roosevelt. She firmly believes we all bring something to the table. 

Consider the traits of an introvert-They prefer listening to speaking, they innovate and create but dislike self-promotion. They are sensitive to nuance, think and feel deeply. They need restorative niches:places to go or things they do to recharge their batteries; what I call: To return to your true self.

Cain continues to state that we undervalue introverts and in the process lose thoughtful, reflective thinkers who can tolerate the solitude that idea-generation requires. They tend to prefer cooperative environments while extroverts favor competitive ones. 

View from my tent on silent retreat, 100 year old oak grove.

It felt like she was talking to me and allowing for all the soft qualities I've not embraced as useful and important to shine and reveal themselves. Labeled "shy" by my parents and teachers, I too, led an interior life from very early childhood. I relished my solitary moments and imaginary friends and felt more restored by playing, writing, singing alone. It felt like a deep embrace of validation, acceptance and compassion. I'll remember it for a long time.

We, sensitive ones (1/3-1/2 of people), need to remember to listen to ourselves. 
-To be in touch with our true selves, our true nature of what we loved, believed in, and ignited us from a young age.
-To pay close attention to the work and things we gravitate toward. 
-To reflect upon, what Cain suggests, what we envy in others.I consider envy a negatively charged word so I suggest looking at what you admire and respect in others. Cain framed that what she admired in her colleagues was the work in which she wanted to explore and grow on her own; namely writing. 

I intend to look deeply and reflect upon what I love to do, what feeds me, inspires me to make a change in a positive direction and continue to evolve.
If you are an extrovert, welcome the introverts in your life, your work, your family and shine together. There's room at the table, in the classroom, and workplace for us all.